lukon_idein: (Roy "Studying")
It's really more like my mind is a giant waffle - should I stay here and try to do the PhD? Should I apply somewhere else for a PhD? Would I even make a decent professor? Should I give up on that idea altogether, settle for the masters and get a non-academic job? What kind of job? Am I qualified for anything? Can I compete in this tight market as a 40-year-old woman who has been out of the work force for six years? Should I just become a Starbucks barista (if I am not over the age limit)? Become a homeless crackhead? Professional dogsitter - the only true skill I have picked up in grad school? Bah. Fuck. It. All.

In order to combat the suffocating syrup that is setting into the waffle squares of my mind, here is yet another fanfic. Because even if I am wasting my life, I can at least try and entertain a few others along the way. Not that this story is all that entertaining. No smex, no jokes, no madcap adventures. Must be off my game. One of these days I'll get back to the smex. And to Trowa - my beautiful, stretchy, long-legged mute. I have a half-finished story with him and Duo which makes me laugh like a maniac every time I re-read it, but I just haven't been able to figure out the ending and so it languishes. Alas. But I keep it on my horizon because I love it so. Although, I fear by the time I finish it, there will only be three fans of GW left! :)

In the meantime...

Title: Worse for Wear
Author: Lukoni
Fandom: NCIS
Characters: Gibbs, Tony (friendship), mention of Mike Franks
Word Count: ca. 950
Summary: Surviving an explosion isn’t as easy as it looks. Special Agent Gibbs has doubts about his ability to lead his team after his time away.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Some angstiness; mild hurt/comfort.
Spoilers: Not really – references to Hiatus I & II.
Notes: Set early in season 4, soon after Gibbs decides to return to NCIS permanently. Not intended to be slashy, but can be looked at as pre-slash if the reader so desires (we aim to please here at Lukoni’s Underground Lair of Escapist Fantasy).

Read Story )
lukon_idein: (Default)
Oh boy, another thrilling night in the middle of fucking nowhere wondering why I'm such a loser wastoid with no hope of happiness due to my chronic pessimism and spoiled brat complex. So I sit and trink (oops, listening to Mahler makes me type in German, apparently) and eat cheese and read smut. Fuck, what a loser. I should be reading my conservation homework and doing my laundry. Nope, too fucking productive. And of course I just wasted an entire evening reading a story that started of fabbo but then went in a direction I totally didn't want it to go so now I'm pissed. And probably drowning in PMS. Think it's about that time again. Stupid body.

Well, I'd better stop whining now before I make myself throw up. Just wish I could channel all my moodiness into a good fic, but apparently my moodiness is even scaring the plot bunnies away. Grrrrr. Maybe I'll go watch Saint Seiya - since Trowa's seiyuu is in it so I don't care if he's a big femmie green-haired wuss. Ooooooh, that VOICE!!! To die for. Sigh.

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April 2011

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