lukon_idein: (Roy "Studying")
Ugh. So I am finally finishing the stupid Masters from Hell and have no definite plans of what to do afterwards. There is one research fellowship that I came across that would be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT as far as my research interests go and all that. Application due on March 31st. No problem. Two recommendations due from profs due March 31st. No problem, right? My prof says 'just email me a reminder of the date and email address to send it to." So what do I do??? I tell her it is due Friday - March 31st! FUCK ME. Friday is SOOOOOOOOO April 1st. BLARGHHHHHHHHHHHH. So maybe they won't disqualify me for a rec coming in 1 day late, but maybe I just shot myself in the foot like the giant fuckup I've always been.

Sigh. I hate it when I sabotage myself with my own stupidity. And it's not like I screwed up 1 application out of 5 or 10, it's the ONLY one I am submitting. These stupid opportunities don't grow on trees. GAH! Oh well, I would just let it slide and focus on Plan B, but I don't actually have a plan B. Guess I'd better get on with putting that together. *crickets chirping* Right, yep, I'm all over it.

On the plus side, I will likely have more time to write fic again soon. Or maybe write that Great American Screenplay I've been planning. :P Or start exercising. Or practice cooking. Or volunteer for some worthwhile organization. Or just be the same old loser I've always been. Bah. Back to the drawing board.
lukon_idein: (Fake)
In a bad mood all of a sudden, so I thought I'd vent online to my thousands of fans. Yeah, that's it. Nothing really to vent about, though. Just my stupid mood swings. Probably mostly just angry at myself for not getting any work done. Still, a little disappointed at not getting any feedback to the studid story I put up on mediaminer - though I don't give lots of feedback myself, so I really can't complain. But Mother always told me that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. So when you get no feedback at all, you tend to assume it's because nobody liked it. On the other hand, I like it. I think it's funny and it makes me laugh, so fuck all y'all. :) (Really the best thing about moving to the southern half of the country is adopting the phrase 'all y'all'. So unexpectedly expressive.)

That's it really. Contemplating splitting my journal into two - a pervy one and a "normal" one that my friends and family can visit shock-free. It's probably a good idea, but still can't help but feel it's like treating my pervy side like the evil twin who has to be kept locked in the basement. But I'd rather not have to defend my slash addiction to my mom! Yikes. *shudder* Anyway, I kinda started this journal with the assumption that no one would ever read it but me, so I put anything into that I felt like. And then it was my two best friends who checked in on me occasionally, and that was okay cuz they know what a freak I am. But if others want to see it I'm so screwed. Strange. It's nice to know someone is willing to spend their time reading your stupid ramblings, but then it also changes the makeup of your stupid ramblings. Curiouser and curiouser.

Hmmm. And I'm also learning a little Japanese from one of my fellow students. I can now say "My octopus drinks sake." Not sure how useful that's going to be, but you never know...

Guess I'd better get back to work. Toodles.

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lukon_idein

April 2011

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