lukon_idein: (Trowa Nanashi)
So I've been in a bad mood for at least two weeks now. Seriously bad. Not wanting to hang out with anyone. Angry at things for no reason. Stuff like that. I thought it was PMS, but no such luck. That's been and gone and yet I'm still as cranky as a Model T engine. I have no idea why, though I suppose I've been a little stressed about my lack of progress towards my thesis - It's coming on three years now and I don't even have an outline. And I did sign up for a full schedule of classes this semester in an attempt to keep me from slacking off as badly as I did last semester, but that makes it difficult for me to find any extra time for thesis stuff. So maybe it's just that. I sure hope it goes away soon. It's tiring being angry all the time!!

As an attempt to deal with it through writing, I sifted through all the old story ideas in my head looking for something that I could write while in such a vile mood - no fluffy bunnies or giddy crushes - and I did find one. Though oddly, the story didn't come out as angry or gritty as I had originally envisioned. I came up with the idea over a year ago, after reading so much Trowa stuff that the only thing left I could find that I hadn't read was a bunch of 3x5 stories. Now this is a couple that I can NEVER see get together. They just seem to have absolutely nothing in common. In order to read any 3x5, I usually just have to accept that they're together and not ask how it came about. So way back when I racked my brain for a situation in which they might realistically interact sexually, and this was the only one I could come up with. Not a happy tale, but I did my best to demonstrate why I thought it was so unlikely that they'd ever fall in love with each other. At least not based on their relationship from the series. I might buy it if some post-EW event brought them together, but so far I haven't come across a fic like that.

Not sure where to post it - it certainly doesn't fall under this week's [livejournal.com profile] gw500 challenge (Romance)! And I'm not sure it falls within the mandate for [livejournal.com profile] love_trowa, since he is portrayed in a slightly unflattering light. But then again it's not dark enough for [livejournal.com profile] darktrowa. I did just discover [livejournal.com profile] gundamwing_smut, however, and it might fit there. Hmmmm. All these levels of fandom. So tricky! But for now, I'll just post it here and get it over with. If anyone reads it and has a suggestion, let me know! Must go to bed - stupid 9 am classes! (Gee, I remember when I used to have to get to work every day at nine. - Shut up, conscience!)

Title: Lessons
Author: Lukoni
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairing: 5x3
Summary: Trowa will do whatever it takes to infiltrate Mariameia’s army.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1210
Warnings: Dubious consent. Oral sex.
Notes: Set during Endless Waltz.


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lukon_idein: (Trowa Nanashi)
My roommate is whistling. It's driving me crazy. Please shut up now! I can't really complain, because he's generally a super great roommate. Oh phew - he just left. Yipppee! : ) I'm such a bitch!!

Anyway, here is yet another fanfic posting. Fuck. I'm NEVER getting this damn thesis done. But I can't help feeling that at least writing fic is some sort of writing and it keeps me in practice. Or something. But if I end up writing an AU novella about Trowa born into slavery in a villa in Tuscany and then catching the eye of a passing senator and purchased and brought to Rome where he falls in love with young slave musician in the Imperial household... well, I don't think anyone will be surprised except my committee.

Anyway, this latest fic has made me crave photography again. I really miss it. Went to Deviantart to check out some people's stuff and it was so hard to see all that amazing stuff and know I couldn't do that. I shot a bunch of stuff this summer but mainly snapshots. Nothing that I really worked hard on. And while I love the freedom of digital I can't stand not having an SLR. Just can't afford one of those right now. And can't afford film and processing for my old faithful. And a deeper problem is my lack of inspiration. I don't know how to get that back - nothing around here catches my visual interest and gets my mind working. It takes time and engergy and hope and a certain sense of mental freedom that I've been missing for a while. Sigh. And if I try to get back into it I will feel totally guilty for not working on my thesis. That's life, I guess.

Well, better get this up and posted so I can go work on my costume for Friday's Halloween party. What, me? Total slack? Don't know what you mean!

Title: Number 42
Author: Lukoni
Characters/Pairing: Duo/Heero, hints of Quatre/Trowa, Wufei
Word Count: 817
Summary: Duo gets a lesson in art appreciation.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mostly harmless, some nudity, bit of sap.
Notes: Written for GW500 challenge #142: Pi. Set post-EW. Not sure I like the ending - I started out lighthearted and silly but then I went looking for motivations and got a little sidetracked. Wufei is a hard character for me to get into. He’s so good at keeping people out. Feedback/Criticism/Typo notifications welcome. Thanks for reading!

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April 2011

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