With stress building from the Unknown Future of Unknown, I have once again channeled my energies into pr0n. Just a wee draught to slake my naughty Gibbs thirst. Hopefully now I can settle down and face the UFoU with a clear mind. (HA.) Or maybe I can at least focus on my corrections a little more. Need to clear up a ton of frustrating loose ends which sometimes make me want to punch things. Or, as is safer, take it out on my hot, fictional boys. Sorry, Jethro, but it's your turn tonight. :D

So, without further ado, for those who can manage to get to anyone else's postings amidst all this LJ cloak and dagger craziness, I humbly present...

Title: Self-Inflicted Punishment
Author: Lukoni
Fandom: NCIS
Pairings: Mention of Gibbs/Dinozzo and Dinozzo/Barrett; OMC/Gibbs
Word Count: 770
Summary: Gibbs feels things slipping out of control, and needs some help getting it back.
Rating: R
Warnings: Brief, non-explicit M/M BDSM. Mild angst.
Notes: Tag to episode 8x20 (“Two-Faced”), so probably some spoilers there. Just a little Gibbs POV to help me sort out the weirdness of this latest ep.


( Read Story )

Ugh. So I am finally finishing the stupid Masters from Hell and have no definite plans of what to do afterwards. There is one research fellowship that I came across that would be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT as far as my research interests go and all that. Application due on March 31st. No problem. Two recommendations due from profs due March 31st. No problem, right? My prof says 'just email me a reminder of the date and email address to send it to." So what do I do??? I tell her it is due Friday - March 31st! FUCK ME. Friday is SOOOOOOOOO April 1st. BLARGHHHHHHHHHHHH. So maybe they won't disqualify me for a rec coming in 1 day late, but maybe I just shot myself in the foot like the giant fuckup I've always been.

Sigh. I hate it when I sabotage myself with my own stupidity. And it's not like I screwed up 1 application out of 5 or 10, it's the ONLY one I am submitting. These stupid opportunities don't grow on trees. GAH! Oh well, I would just let it slide and focus on Plan B, but I don't actually have a plan B. Guess I'd better get on with putting that together. *crickets chirping* Right, yep, I'm all over it.

On the plus side, I will likely have more time to write fic again soon. Or maybe write that Great American Screenplay I've been planning. :P Or start exercising. Or practice cooking. Or volunteer for some worthwhile organization. Or just be the same old loser I've always been. Bah. Back to the drawing board.

I may regret this, but I was persuaded to sign up for Yuletide 2010. Wish me luck, folks! :)

( Yuletide 2010 Letter )

Huh. Can't believe I haven't posted in a year! Have really missed posting but haven't felt up to it. And now it looks like most of the Kool Kids have migrated to Dreamwidth. But that's what I get for dropping the ball. C'est la vie. So what has la vie been like lately? Perhaps a quick list will cover it.

( Bullet Points of Doom )

So, in the course of my usual I'm-overwhelmed-so-let's-go-drown-in-fanfic coping mechanism, I finally reached the breaking point with several fanfic tropes. And of course must now expound upon them for a bit, just to check my Reality Meter with other normal (more or less) adults.

No. 1. What the H*** is up with the hair holding while vomiting?????? Eeeeew? Not only would I never do this for a friend/lover (because the sound of someone vomiting makes me feel like vomiting too), but I would never want anyone to do it for me. If I'm puking, be it from the flu or too much alcohol, I want to be completely, totally, 100-percent ALONE! Hands off! Get OUT! No solicitous back rubbing or hair holding. I'm already stressed enough without worrying about what a miserable time my friend/lover is having. And look, I've had long hair for over 25 years and I tell you right now I have NEVER ONCE vomited on it! Why does everyone else write about this????? Please tell me! Is this a common practice I've missed out by being a misanthropic recluse? Have I never been quite drunk enough to need assistance while barfing my guts out? Help!

No. 2. Or so. This lovely phrase is designed for getting across the fact that a given measurement is not exact. But sometimes it gets used so often that it just distracts me. If given a choice between 'Trowa waited for Quatre in the Jell-o pool for an hour or so before licking himself clean and leaving with a frustrated sigh' and 'Trowa waited in the Jello-pool for an hour before...' I would definitely take the latter. Most likely Trowa is not wearing his watch in the Jell-o pool and I can easily infer that he was not there for exactly 60 minutes without ruining the flow for the added 'or so'. It's not that 'or so' never has its place, but it just isn't necessary every time there is an indeterminate measurement. And what about 'about' or 'almost' or 'nearly' for some variety? 'Quatre arrived, out of breath, nearly twenty minutes later, wondering whether he would ever be forgiven for getting stuck in a board meeting on their anniversary.' Something about 'or so' messes with the meter and knocks me out of the flow of the narrative. Is it just me?

No. 3. Scratchy. I admit I have a strange hang-up about this word. It just plunges me into the world of being 5-year-old whiny child again. I have no idea why I think grownups should not use this word, but they do, so I'm doing my best to accept that. But why, why, WHY must all fictional blankets be scratchy??????????? I have experienced a number of blankets in my life, and they are not all scratchy. There are soft ones, stiff ones, threadbare ones, clammy ones. So many choices! And if they are itch-inducing, there are other options, such as rough or prickly that one could substitute for a little variety. I'm just saying. Maybe we are discriminating against blanket-kind here by only focusing on one?

Anyway, that's it for now. Not trying to be too negative or anything, just, as I said, in need of a reality check. If anyone has pet peeves of their own, feel free to share!

Yup, I should be working on my thesis today (like every other day) and instead I wrote another story. But I'm hoping that getting this one out of my head will make more room for thesisy stuff. The brain works that way, right?

Title: Depature
Author: Lukoni
Fandom: Kyo Kara Maoh!
Characters: Gwendal
Word Count: ca. 1300
Summary: Gwendal prepares to leave his family behind as illness catches up with him.
Rating: G
Warnings: Impending character death
Spoilers: Not really.
Notes: Set perhaps a year or two after the end of the series, though I haven’t actually finished watching then 3rd season, so if this contradicts anything revealed there, my apologies.


( Some days it was hard to believe he was dying. )

Hmmmm.... haven't updated in 7 weeks? Lame. Let's see where I'm at at the moment...

Word that's tripped my Overuse Meter: resolute(ly)
Things I'm tired of: Being away from home
Things I'm failing at: digestion, writing
Number of unfinished fics: 5
Number of unfinished theses: 1
Character I'm fantasizing about: Gwendal from KKM
Number of eyes he's lost: none... so far
Song I can't get enough of: Streamline by System of a Down
Things I'm fretting about: Getting a job, money, failure
Things I'm looking forward to: Getting a kitty (contingent upon job); being done with thesis (contingent upon writing)
Fic that made my Xmas break: Kissing Cousins - based on characters from Georgette Heyer's Cotillion. Georgette Heyer slash fic??? So rare. So wonderful. So well done.
Line from book that made me laugh out loud: "The Thiefmaker tried to let a vaguely sincere expression scurry onto his face, where it froze in evident discomfort." - from The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch.
Most recent film seen: Doubt
Most recent city I've visited: Boston
Places I'd like to live: Queechee, VT; Isle of Skye, Scotland
Things I'd like to do: Be happy
Things I'm grateful for: Friends, friends, laughter, ribaldry and friends.

Okay, so I'm being old and crotchety here, but hey, that's what people do when they are surrounded by the next generation, right? So, I am a Dr. Who fan from way back, and I've pretty much seen every pre-hiatus episode that's available (including the unfinished Douglas Adams scripted Shada). I've watched a few of the new eps but haven't fallen in love yet - some things I like (Captain Jack - yum) and some things I don't (Dr. in luuuuv - icky). Whatever. That's not my problem. My problem is that I still remember those old discussions that inevitably involved the question 'Who's your favorite Doctor?' Lots of 'Tom Baker' and 'Jon Pertwee', some 'Peter Davison', very few 'Colin Baker'... but it was all names - of people, of actors who portrayed a character, who brought life and personality and individuality to each regeneration. Now I know all these younger folks who are completely into the new doctors and it's all numbers. 'I like ten.' 'Did you see that one with nine?' 'Which doctor was that? Three?' ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. Fuck that. It's so.... I dunno... reductionary and depersonalizing or something. Or maybe it just represents the fans considering the doctor as a single, whole character, divorced from the medium of television. Which I guess shouldn't be a bad thing, I do that myself with other fandoms, but somehow in this case it still annoys the fuck out of me. I don't know why, but it does, and hence I shake my cane at humanity once more.

On a lighter note, I was searching through old mix tapes (yes, tapes) looking for songs to convert to digital, and rediscovered Touch and Go's Would You...?. This song NEVER fails to bring a smile to my face. If you aren't familiar with it, do a quick Youtube search (no official video, but several amateur jobs - don't watch 'em, just listen). It is SOOOO worth it. :)