Anger Management
Feb. 9th, 2007 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lukon_ideinSo I've been in a bad mood for at least two weeks now. Seriously bad. Not wanting to hang out with anyone. Angry at things for no reason. Stuff like that. I thought it was PMS, but no such luck. That's been and gone and yet I'm still as cranky as a Model T engine. I have no idea why, though I suppose I've been a little stressed about my lack of progress towards my thesis - It's coming on three years now and I don't even have an outline. And I did sign up for a full schedule of classes this semester in an attempt to keep me from slacking off as badly as I did last semester, but that makes it difficult for me to find any extra time for thesis stuff. So maybe it's just that. I sure hope it goes away soon. It's tiring being angry all the time!!
As an attempt to deal with it through writing, I sifted through all the old story ideas in my head looking for something that I could write while in such a vile mood - no fluffy bunnies or giddy crushes - and I did find one. Though oddly, the story didn't come out as angry or gritty as I had originally envisioned. I came up with the idea over a year ago, after reading so much Trowa stuff that the only thing left I could find that I hadn't read was a bunch of 3x5 stories. Now this is a couple that I can NEVER see get together. They just seem to have absolutely nothing in common. In order to read any 3x5, I usually just have to accept that they're together and not ask how it came about. So way back when I racked my brain for a situation in which they might realistically interact sexually, and this was the only one I could come up with. Not a happy tale, but I did my best to demonstrate why I thought it was so unlikely that they'd ever fall in love with each other. At least not based on their relationship from the series. I might buy it if some post-EW event brought them together, but so far I haven't come across a fic like that.
Not sure where to post it - it certainly doesn't fall under this week's![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
gw500 challenge (Romance)! And I'm not sure it falls within the mandate for love_trowa, since he is portrayed in a slightly unflattering light. But then again it's not dark enough for darktrowa. I did just discover ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gundamwing_smut, however, and it might fit there. Hmmmm. All these levels of fandom. So tricky! But for now, I'll just post it here and get it over with. If anyone reads it and has a suggestion, let me know! Must go to bed - stupid 9 am classes! (Gee, I remember when I used to have to get to work every day at nine. - Shut up, conscience!)
Title: Lessons
Author: Lukoni
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairing: 5x3
Summary: Trowa will do whatever it takes to infiltrate Mariameia’s army.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1210
Warnings: Dubious consent. Oral sex.
Notes: Set during Endless Waltz.
Lessons
Trowa stood waiting impassively in Dekim Barton’s private office, as the man and his trusted comrade, Chang Wufei, considered his case. Former colleagues from Trowa’s time with the Barton Foundation had vouched for him. He hadn’t wasted time on claims of loyalty to the cause, but rather put forth his mercenary upbringing, claiming that there was nothing for him in times of peace, that fighting was all he knew. Barton seemed convinced but Chang still had reservations. The Chinese pilot knew him well from the last war. Knew how far he’d go to secure his cover. Knew he’d blown up a gundam to weasel his way into Oz.
“Well, my friend, what would it take to satisfy your doubts,” General Barton asked his stubborn officer. Chang surveyed Trowa critically, his eyes hard and arrogant. Trowa looked back, not challenging, just waiting. A blank slate.
“I need to know you are willing to serve without question,” snapped Chang.
“Of course,” answered Trowa.
“So you will do anything you are told?”
“Yes, sir”
With a smug sneer Wufei named his price. “Fine. Suck my cock.” And Trowa knew he, Trowa, had won. Chang Wufei, for all his misanthropic contempt, was an idealist at heart. He understood honor. He understood loyalty. He even understood expedience. But he did not understand people. Real people, struggling to survive in the trenches. He did not comprehend that being ruthless was more than having no mercy. He knew nothing of the willing suppression of pride in the face of necessity. He was bluffing. Counting on Trowa to demur at such an abhorrent request. He was mistaken.
With the slightest of nods, the auburn-haired pilot slid gracefully to his knees before the slender young man. Barely a man, really. Blooded in battle, yes, and widowed even. But in some ways so inexperienced it almost made Trowa laugh. This was going to be too easy. He grasped Wufei’s hips and exhaled his warm, moist breath through the thin cotton of Wufei’s shorts. He felt Chang stiffen and shiver at the same time. He nuzzled the tender crotch, noting when the tell-tale swelling began. Dekim made no attempt to stop this, so Trowa continued. He wasn’t surprised, considering the stories he’d heard about the elder Barton during his time with the Foundation.
With confident fingers he unfastened Wufei’s belt and slowly slid the fly open. He could sense the pilot’s shock at being confronted with the reality of his request. Always too sure of himself, was 05. It was about time he learned a few things about the world. And about himself.
Trowa gently slipped shorts and briefs down just far enough to free cock and balls. Completely hairless and not particularly large. It reminded Trowa even more vividly just how young Wufei was. It made him feel old. Ancient. He wondered how many times he’d done this and knew that it was too many to easily count. He placed a soft, mocking kiss where the shaft met abdomen. If Wufei wanted to play soldier instead of noble loner, then he’d have to learn how to come down to their level.
With no further preamble, he opened his mouth and took him in all the way in. Wufei gasped. Trowa saw Dekim shift his weight out of the corner of his eye. Probably trying to get a better view. The mild musky taste was familiar on his tongue, though it was tempered with a slight soapy flavor. He briefly found himself diverted by the image of Wufei’s mother scolding him to wash behind his ears. Squeaky clean.
For ease of control, Trowa wrapped thumb and forefinger around the base of Wufei’s cock, now fully hard, and used his other hand to tease the sensitive sac. His head bobbed up and down, his hair tickling the sensitive exposed skin of Wufei’s abdomen. He expected to feel hands clutching at his head, but a quick glance upward revealed that the ebony eyes were squeezed shut in what resembled pain and those delicate hands were clutching the edge of the desk behind him as if it were a lifeline.
His emerald gaze slid over Dekim as it returned to the task at hand. The general’s flushed face and shallow breathing were not missed. Trowa rigorously applied the considerable skill he’d acquired over the years, amused by the fact that some of his best tricks he’d learned from the original Trowa Barton. He kept it simple for Wufei, though. He didn’t want to melt the poor kid’s brain. Just teach him a lesson. For running like a spoiled child to this pathetic toy army after being cast adrift in a world without war. A lesson about egotism. About pride. About knowing one’s enemy. About exploiting weakness instead of despising it.
He could feel the strain in his comrade, the resistance. Wufei was trying not to enjoy this. He was probably confused as hell, since he had never expected Trowa to take him up on it. With an inward smile he sucked harder, his cheeks hollowing with the pressure, and was satisfied when he elicited a low moan from his reluctant companion. Dekim’s foot was bouncing with the rhythm. Sounds of breathing filled the room. Trowa’s rough breaths through his nose. Dekim’s short, harsh panting punctuated with an occasional grunt. Wufei’s desperate attempts to rein in his deep, shuddering breaths, to keep quiet, to maintain control. Somewhere behind it all, the impersonal white noise of the station’s air circulation system hummed.
Wufei put up a good fight. He lasted longer than Trowa expected him to. But Trowa’s mouth was inexorable. His experienced muscles tireless. And with a strangled groan and the loud snap of a desk cracking, Wufei came, sending warm fluid down Trowa’s accommodating throat.
He carefully tucked Wufei back into his uniform, then stood quickly and saluted, for all the world as if he’d just reported for duty. Wufei’s cheeks burned and he refused to meet Trowa’s eyes. Dekim cleared his throat.
“Well, Wufei,” the general said with a touch of amusement. “Are you satisfied?” Wufei’s face flamed even redder, if that were possible.
“My objections are withdrawn, sir,” he managed. Trowa wasn’t sure whether he had convinced Wufei or just distracted him. He didn’t really care. He had shut him up, and that had been his main objective.
“Excellent, excellent. Thank you for being so... dedicated to the cause. You are dismissed.”
Wufei saluted and strode stiffly out the door, not giving Trowa a second glance. When he was gone, Dekim stepped to Trowa’s side and put an arm around his shoulder.
“Well, then. I can’t say that I approve of you taking my grandson’s name...”
“I was trying to honor him, sir,” interrupted Trowa. Dekim laughed knowingly.
“I believe you have done that very well.” With that he began guiding the lean young pilot toward a door at the back of the office.
Trowa was well aware of the man’s hardness distending the front of his trousers and knew that he’d most likely wake the next morning in Dekim’s bed rather than in the barracks, but he was in and that was all that mattered. He wondered if Wufei would ever learn that lesson. He realized unexpectedly that he hoped not.
~fin~
02.08.07
As an attempt to deal with it through writing, I sifted through all the old story ideas in my head looking for something that I could write while in such a vile mood - no fluffy bunnies or giddy crushes - and I did find one. Though oddly, the story didn't come out as angry or gritty as I had originally envisioned. I came up with the idea over a year ago, after reading so much Trowa stuff that the only thing left I could find that I hadn't read was a bunch of 3x5 stories. Now this is a couple that I can NEVER see get together. They just seem to have absolutely nothing in common. In order to read any 3x5, I usually just have to accept that they're together and not ask how it came about. So way back when I racked my brain for a situation in which they might realistically interact sexually, and this was the only one I could come up with. Not a happy tale, but I did my best to demonstrate why I thought it was so unlikely that they'd ever fall in love with each other. At least not based on their relationship from the series. I might buy it if some post-EW event brought them together, but so far I haven't come across a fic like that.
Not sure where to post it - it certainly doesn't fall under this week's
gw500 challenge (Romance)! And I'm not sure it falls within the mandate for love_trowa, since he is portrayed in a slightly unflattering light. But then again it's not dark enough for darktrowa. I did just discover gundamwing_smut, however, and it might fit there. Hmmmm. All these levels of fandom. So tricky! But for now, I'll just post it here and get it over with. If anyone reads it and has a suggestion, let me know! Must go to bed - stupid 9 am classes! (Gee, I remember when I used to have to get to work every day at nine. - Shut up, conscience!)Title: Lessons
Author: Lukoni
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairing: 5x3
Summary: Trowa will do whatever it takes to infiltrate Mariameia’s army.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1210
Warnings: Dubious consent. Oral sex.
Notes: Set during Endless Waltz.
Lessons
Trowa stood waiting impassively in Dekim Barton’s private office, as the man and his trusted comrade, Chang Wufei, considered his case. Former colleagues from Trowa’s time with the Barton Foundation had vouched for him. He hadn’t wasted time on claims of loyalty to the cause, but rather put forth his mercenary upbringing, claiming that there was nothing for him in times of peace, that fighting was all he knew. Barton seemed convinced but Chang still had reservations. The Chinese pilot knew him well from the last war. Knew how far he’d go to secure his cover. Knew he’d blown up a gundam to weasel his way into Oz.
“Well, my friend, what would it take to satisfy your doubts,” General Barton asked his stubborn officer. Chang surveyed Trowa critically, his eyes hard and arrogant. Trowa looked back, not challenging, just waiting. A blank slate.
“I need to know you are willing to serve without question,” snapped Chang.
“Of course,” answered Trowa.
“So you will do anything you are told?”
“Yes, sir”
With a smug sneer Wufei named his price. “Fine. Suck my cock.” And Trowa knew he, Trowa, had won. Chang Wufei, for all his misanthropic contempt, was an idealist at heart. He understood honor. He understood loyalty. He even understood expedience. But he did not understand people. Real people, struggling to survive in the trenches. He did not comprehend that being ruthless was more than having no mercy. He knew nothing of the willing suppression of pride in the face of necessity. He was bluffing. Counting on Trowa to demur at such an abhorrent request. He was mistaken.
With the slightest of nods, the auburn-haired pilot slid gracefully to his knees before the slender young man. Barely a man, really. Blooded in battle, yes, and widowed even. But in some ways so inexperienced it almost made Trowa laugh. This was going to be too easy. He grasped Wufei’s hips and exhaled his warm, moist breath through the thin cotton of Wufei’s shorts. He felt Chang stiffen and shiver at the same time. He nuzzled the tender crotch, noting when the tell-tale swelling began. Dekim made no attempt to stop this, so Trowa continued. He wasn’t surprised, considering the stories he’d heard about the elder Barton during his time with the Foundation.
With confident fingers he unfastened Wufei’s belt and slowly slid the fly open. He could sense the pilot’s shock at being confronted with the reality of his request. Always too sure of himself, was 05. It was about time he learned a few things about the world. And about himself.
Trowa gently slipped shorts and briefs down just far enough to free cock and balls. Completely hairless and not particularly large. It reminded Trowa even more vividly just how young Wufei was. It made him feel old. Ancient. He wondered how many times he’d done this and knew that it was too many to easily count. He placed a soft, mocking kiss where the shaft met abdomen. If Wufei wanted to play soldier instead of noble loner, then he’d have to learn how to come down to their level.
With no further preamble, he opened his mouth and took him in all the way in. Wufei gasped. Trowa saw Dekim shift his weight out of the corner of his eye. Probably trying to get a better view. The mild musky taste was familiar on his tongue, though it was tempered with a slight soapy flavor. He briefly found himself diverted by the image of Wufei’s mother scolding him to wash behind his ears. Squeaky clean.
For ease of control, Trowa wrapped thumb and forefinger around the base of Wufei’s cock, now fully hard, and used his other hand to tease the sensitive sac. His head bobbed up and down, his hair tickling the sensitive exposed skin of Wufei’s abdomen. He expected to feel hands clutching at his head, but a quick glance upward revealed that the ebony eyes were squeezed shut in what resembled pain and those delicate hands were clutching the edge of the desk behind him as if it were a lifeline.
His emerald gaze slid over Dekim as it returned to the task at hand. The general’s flushed face and shallow breathing were not missed. Trowa rigorously applied the considerable skill he’d acquired over the years, amused by the fact that some of his best tricks he’d learned from the original Trowa Barton. He kept it simple for Wufei, though. He didn’t want to melt the poor kid’s brain. Just teach him a lesson. For running like a spoiled child to this pathetic toy army after being cast adrift in a world without war. A lesson about egotism. About pride. About knowing one’s enemy. About exploiting weakness instead of despising it.
He could feel the strain in his comrade, the resistance. Wufei was trying not to enjoy this. He was probably confused as hell, since he had never expected Trowa to take him up on it. With an inward smile he sucked harder, his cheeks hollowing with the pressure, and was satisfied when he elicited a low moan from his reluctant companion. Dekim’s foot was bouncing with the rhythm. Sounds of breathing filled the room. Trowa’s rough breaths through his nose. Dekim’s short, harsh panting punctuated with an occasional grunt. Wufei’s desperate attempts to rein in his deep, shuddering breaths, to keep quiet, to maintain control. Somewhere behind it all, the impersonal white noise of the station’s air circulation system hummed.
Wufei put up a good fight. He lasted longer than Trowa expected him to. But Trowa’s mouth was inexorable. His experienced muscles tireless. And with a strangled groan and the loud snap of a desk cracking, Wufei came, sending warm fluid down Trowa’s accommodating throat.
He carefully tucked Wufei back into his uniform, then stood quickly and saluted, for all the world as if he’d just reported for duty. Wufei’s cheeks burned and he refused to meet Trowa’s eyes. Dekim cleared his throat.
“Well, Wufei,” the general said with a touch of amusement. “Are you satisfied?” Wufei’s face flamed even redder, if that were possible.
“My objections are withdrawn, sir,” he managed. Trowa wasn’t sure whether he had convinced Wufei or just distracted him. He didn’t really care. He had shut him up, and that had been his main objective.
“Excellent, excellent. Thank you for being so... dedicated to the cause. You are dismissed.”
Wufei saluted and strode stiffly out the door, not giving Trowa a second glance. When he was gone, Dekim stepped to Trowa’s side and put an arm around his shoulder.
“Well, then. I can’t say that I approve of you taking my grandson’s name...”
“I was trying to honor him, sir,” interrupted Trowa. Dekim laughed knowingly.
“I believe you have done that very well.” With that he began guiding the lean young pilot toward a door at the back of the office.
Trowa was well aware of the man’s hardness distending the front of his trousers and knew that he’d most likely wake the next morning in Dekim’s bed rather than in the barracks, but he was in and that was all that mattered. He wondered if Wufei would ever learn that lesson. He realized unexpectedly that he hoped not.
~fin~
02.08.07
