May. 25th, 2009

lukon_idein: (Roy "Studying")
So, in the course of my usual I'm-overwhelmed-so-let's-go-drown-in-fanfic coping mechanism, I finally reached the breaking point with several fanfic tropes. And of course must now expound upon them for a bit, just to check my Reality Meter with other normal (more or less) adults.

No. 1. What the H*** is up with the hair holding while vomiting?????? Eeeeew? Not only would I never do this for a friend/lover (because the sound of someone vomiting makes me feel like vomiting too), but I would never want anyone to do it for me. If I'm puking, be it from the flu or too much alcohol, I want to be completely, totally, 100-percent ALONE! Hands off! Get OUT! No solicitous back rubbing or hair holding. I'm already stressed enough without worrying about what a miserable time my friend/lover is having. And look, I've had long hair for over 25 years and I tell you right now I have NEVER ONCE vomited on it! Why does everyone else write about this????? Please tell me! Is this a common practice I've missed out by being a misanthropic recluse? Have I never been quite drunk enough to need assistance while barfing my guts out? Help!

No. 2. Or so. This lovely phrase is designed for getting across the fact that a given measurement is not exact. But sometimes it gets used so often that it just distracts me. If given a choice between 'Trowa waited for Quatre in the Jell-o pool for an hour or so before licking himself clean and leaving with a frustrated sigh' and 'Trowa waited in the Jello-pool for an hour before...' I would definitely take the latter. Most likely Trowa is not wearing his watch in the Jell-o pool and I can easily infer that he was not there for exactly 60 minutes without ruining the flow for the added 'or so'. It's not that 'or so' never has its place, but it just isn't necessary every time there is an indeterminate measurement. And what about 'about' or 'almost' or 'nearly' for some variety? 'Quatre arrived, out of breath, nearly twenty minutes later, wondering whether he would ever be forgiven for getting stuck in a board meeting on their anniversary.' Something about 'or so' messes with the meter and knocks me out of the flow of the narrative. Is it just me?

No. 3. Scratchy. I admit I have a strange hang-up about this word. It just plunges me into the world of being 5-year-old whiny child again. I have no idea why I think grownups should not use this word, but they do, so I'm doing my best to accept that. But why, why, WHY must all fictional blankets be scratchy??????????? I have experienced a number of blankets in my life, and they are not all scratchy. There are soft ones, stiff ones, threadbare ones, clammy ones. So many choices! And if they are itch-inducing, there are other options, such as rough or prickly that one could substitute for a little variety. I'm just saying. Maybe we are discriminating against blanket-kind here by only focusing on one?

Anyway, that's it for now. Not trying to be too negative or anything, just, as I said, in need of a reality check. If anyone has pet peeves of their own, feel free to share!

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