lukon_idein: (Roy "Studying")
[personal profile] lukon_idein
So, in the course of my usual I'm-overwhelmed-so-let's-go-drown-in-fanfic coping mechanism, I finally reached the breaking point with several fanfic tropes. And of course must now expound upon them for a bit, just to check my Reality Meter with other normal (more or less) adults.

No. 1. What the H*** is up with the hair holding while vomiting?????? Eeeeew? Not only would I never do this for a friend/lover (because the sound of someone vomiting makes me feel like vomiting too), but I would never want anyone to do it for me. If I'm puking, be it from the flu or too much alcohol, I want to be completely, totally, 100-percent ALONE! Hands off! Get OUT! No solicitous back rubbing or hair holding. I'm already stressed enough without worrying about what a miserable time my friend/lover is having. And look, I've had long hair for over 25 years and I tell you right now I have NEVER ONCE vomited on it! Why does everyone else write about this????? Please tell me! Is this a common practice I've missed out by being a misanthropic recluse? Have I never been quite drunk enough to need assistance while barfing my guts out? Help!

No. 2. Or so. This lovely phrase is designed for getting across the fact that a given measurement is not exact. But sometimes it gets used so often that it just distracts me. If given a choice between 'Trowa waited for Quatre in the Jell-o pool for an hour or so before licking himself clean and leaving with a frustrated sigh' and 'Trowa waited in the Jello-pool for an hour before...' I would definitely take the latter. Most likely Trowa is not wearing his watch in the Jell-o pool and I can easily infer that he was not there for exactly 60 minutes without ruining the flow for the added 'or so'. It's not that 'or so' never has its place, but it just isn't necessary every time there is an indeterminate measurement. And what about 'about' or 'almost' or 'nearly' for some variety? 'Quatre arrived, out of breath, nearly twenty minutes later, wondering whether he would ever be forgiven for getting stuck in a board meeting on their anniversary.' Something about 'or so' messes with the meter and knocks me out of the flow of the narrative. Is it just me?

No. 3. Scratchy. I admit I have a strange hang-up about this word. It just plunges me into the world of being 5-year-old whiny child again. I have no idea why I think grownups should not use this word, but they do, so I'm doing my best to accept that. But why, why, WHY must all fictional blankets be scratchy??????????? I have experienced a number of blankets in my life, and they are not all scratchy. There are soft ones, stiff ones, threadbare ones, clammy ones. So many choices! And if they are itch-inducing, there are other options, such as rough or prickly that one could substitute for a little variety. I'm just saying. Maybe we are discriminating against blanket-kind here by only focusing on one?

Anyway, that's it for now. Not trying to be too negative or anything, just, as I said, in need of a reality check. If anyone has pet peeves of their own, feel free to share!

on 2009-05-25 09:06 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] their-darkness.livejournal.com
About No. 1, I remember my mom holding my hair out of my face for me when I was a little kid, and that was nice, because I was too busy crying and barfing at the same time to worry about something as bothersome as hair.

It doesn't sound fair for me to say I have pet-peeves regarding the english language since it's not my first language (isn't even supposed to be my second language), but when people write "check" instead of cheek I gnash my teeth a little. It doesn't even SOUND the same, how can you mix those up!?

Other pet-peeves that don't have to do with the english language would be people trying to cram themselves into the bus while I'm still trying to get out. COMMON SENSE PEOPLE. Wait until everyone is out, then we won't have the annoying body contact either, and I won't have to use my a3 map as a cowcatcher.

on 2009-05-26 05:39 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lukon-idein.livejournal.com
Hmmmm.... I guess I can buy the parent/kid thing - it makes sense. But when it comes to big macho yaoi guys, I'm still not buying it! :P

OOOOOH! The bus thing drives me nuts!!!!! They used to do that on the subway too, back when I lived in the big city. WTF? Clearly there'd be more room for you and your ego, sir, if you'd just let me get out first!!! Map as cowcatcher is brilliant!! I will have to try that in the future!

Thanks for weighing in!!!

on 2009-05-26 06:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] auragirl.livejournal.com
I've never been drunk, let alone drunk enough to vomit, and I've never had long hair, so I don't know really...

But I DO know I was aware of the cliche/idea, that is, that people hold other people's hair for them when they need to puke, if they have really long hair and are drunk....

The other ones don't bug me in particular, but I tend to be pretty forgiving - if something's very badly written I start skimming it just to see if it gets better/amusing, if it doesn't, back button is clicked etc.

on 2009-05-29 01:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lukon-idein.livejournal.com
Well, I'm glad someone else has at least noticed the cliche! I mostly ignore it, but I read story in which two people get drunk and are simultaneously cared for in such a manner by their poor beleaguered significant others and it just was a little too over the top for me.

It's not that stories that use these are badly written (esp. the 'scratchy blanket' issue, which is probably mostly my own hangup), they more like small hiccups that don't ruin my overall enjoyment of a story, just distract me momentarily. Sorry if I come off as intolerant! And I do agree, the skimming/back button combo is a lifesaver!!

on 2009-08-19 09:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bryonylj.livejournal.com
Hee, I just have to comment on the hair thing. I would certainly not want anyone in the room with me whilst vomiting - because yeah, embarrassing, and also if anyone tries to touch me while I'm nauseaus it just makes me want to puke more.

But. My first week studying abroad in London my flatmates and I had this party as a whole getting to know each other thing, and one of the other American girls got way drunk. After we all go to bed I hear someone call for help and go to investigate. I find the girl (who I've known less than a week, remember) *stark naked* and puking her guts out. And yep. She wanted someone to hold her hair. I couldn't exactly say no (but the sound of other people puking doesn't really bother me, either, so maybe it just wasn't as big a deal for me. Then again, the naked thing? That was a little much for me...kind of funny after the fact...but a little much).

on 2009-08-21 09:05 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lukon-idein.livejournal.com
Bwahahahahaaaa! That is an awesome story!!!!! The naked thing would have weirded me out a bit too! Maybe it's only drunk vomiting that requires hair-holding, since one's coordination gets so messed up. Can't believe you can just sit there with Puking Girl and not want to lose it yourself! Amazing. (I get seasick really easily too, so maybe I just have a wussy stomach all around...) Thanks for sharing!!

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