lukon_idein: (Roy "Studying")
So, in the course of my usual I'm-overwhelmed-so-let's-go-drown-in-fanfic coping mechanism, I finally reached the breaking point with several fanfic tropes. And of course must now expound upon them for a bit, just to check my Reality Meter with other normal (more or less) adults.

No. 1. What the H*** is up with the hair holding while vomiting?????? Eeeeew? Not only would I never do this for a friend/lover (because the sound of someone vomiting makes me feel like vomiting too), but I would never want anyone to do it for me. If I'm puking, be it from the flu or too much alcohol, I want to be completely, totally, 100-percent ALONE! Hands off! Get OUT! No solicitous back rubbing or hair holding. I'm already stressed enough without worrying about what a miserable time my friend/lover is having. And look, I've had long hair for over 25 years and I tell you right now I have NEVER ONCE vomited on it! Why does everyone else write about this????? Please tell me! Is this a common practice I've missed out by being a misanthropic recluse? Have I never been quite drunk enough to need assistance while barfing my guts out? Help!

No. 2. Or so. This lovely phrase is designed for getting across the fact that a given measurement is not exact. But sometimes it gets used so often that it just distracts me. If given a choice between 'Trowa waited for Quatre in the Jell-o pool for an hour or so before licking himself clean and leaving with a frustrated sigh' and 'Trowa waited in the Jello-pool for an hour before...' I would definitely take the latter. Most likely Trowa is not wearing his watch in the Jell-o pool and I can easily infer that he was not there for exactly 60 minutes without ruining the flow for the added 'or so'. It's not that 'or so' never has its place, but it just isn't necessary every time there is an indeterminate measurement. And what about 'about' or 'almost' or 'nearly' for some variety? 'Quatre arrived, out of breath, nearly twenty minutes later, wondering whether he would ever be forgiven for getting stuck in a board meeting on their anniversary.' Something about 'or so' messes with the meter and knocks me out of the flow of the narrative. Is it just me?

No. 3. Scratchy. I admit I have a strange hang-up about this word. It just plunges me into the world of being 5-year-old whiny child again. I have no idea why I think grownups should not use this word, but they do, so I'm doing my best to accept that. But why, why, WHY must all fictional blankets be scratchy??????????? I have experienced a number of blankets in my life, and they are not all scratchy. There are soft ones, stiff ones, threadbare ones, clammy ones. So many choices! And if they are itch-inducing, there are other options, such as rough or prickly that one could substitute for a little variety. I'm just saying. Maybe we are discriminating against blanket-kind here by only focusing on one?

Anyway, that's it for now. Not trying to be too negative or anything, just, as I said, in need of a reality check. If anyone has pet peeves of their own, feel free to share!
lukon_idein: (Default)
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! Let the outrage begin!!!! Ok. So, the first version of Pride and Prejudice I ever saw was the old Lawrence Olivier/Greer Garson version from 1940. This was back when I was about 13 and well before I'd read the book. I thought it was light-hearted and funny and generally a great film - okay, so I was 13 but still, it made me read the book, which I love, and even after that I still love this film. Yes, the BBC one with Colin Firth is more faithful to the book, and the costumes are historically accurate and is generally considered the best, and I do enjoy it immensely, but I still love the 1940 version. Laurence Olivier was to die for, Greer Garson so confident and serene, and her family's foibles very well rendered. To me it catches the inherent humor of Austen better than other versions, because her books, despite their quiet veneer, really are comedies of manners and human foibles.

So imagine my outrage when I go on Netflix to rent it and start checking out all the reviews. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYED! My spirit was so crushed. :(

* Item: "Garson is so ladylike and gentle she would have made a far better Jane" WHAT??? Just because Elizabeth is holding out for a husband she can respect, doesn't mean she doesn't have gentle manners!! FUCK, people. This was the British upper class, here, not a suburban block party!

* Item: "If the bennett's financial position was so much in question, why in the 1940 v were all the clothes so immaculate? etc in the 2005 v, i could see and appreciate the wrinkles in elizabeth's cloth dress..." Have you even read the book? They DO have money, it's just entailed to the nearest male heir, so they won't have anything once Mr. Bennett dies. They have servants who can iron their clothes and can afford to maintain their estate in a manner befitting a family of their station, even if they can't compete with the likes of Bingley and Darcy.

* Item: "When I saw that Lawrence Olivier was Darcy I thought, Perfect. However, he was less unapproachable than I imagined Darcy to be." Are you serious? That is one of the best parts of Olivier's performance - he's such a stiff, standoffish bastard that you want to smack him half the time, and therefore it makes complete sense why everyone finds him odious! Sure, he tries to make himself approachable to Elizabeth once he realizes he's attracted to her, but he's not exactly a big, huggable teddy bear. He's chock full of pure, elite British snobbery. And I don't get that 'sullen/spoiled brat' vibe I've gotten from other film/tv Darcys. Ok, maybe not Colin Firth, but he still never entirely convinced me that he came from the blood-blooded, entitled aristocratic set the way Olivier did. (Hmmm, could my own prejudices be shining through here??)

* Item: "It's okay for it's time. but no English accents..." HUH? Okay, so it may have been a mixed Hollywood cast with a hodgepodge of expat Brits, Canadians and Americans, but you can hardly tell me that Laurence Olivier didn't have an English accent??????? And Greer Garson - Mrs. Miniver herself? Born in LONDON? Edmund Gwenn, anyone?? W.T.F???

* Item: "There is none of the beautiful cinematography from the other movies either." *weeps quietly for the death of b&w cinema* Ok, yes there were no sweeping vistas, but really as an example of quality b&w lighting, exposure and composition this can't be beat. It may not be as dramatic as Citizen Kane or Wuthering Heights, but it is an excellent example of the craft from the man who did Camille and Key Largo.

And yes, some complaints are legitimate: Greer Garson was technically far too old (but I thought her combination of maturity and irreverent wit worked for the character); it is a bit more "melodramatic" (though perhaps "vivacious" is a better word) and less staid than the book or other film adaptations, but I again this felt to me like an attempt to capture the humor of the books for modern audiences; and yes there is at least one major plot rewrite. BUT, I maintain it is STILL a GREAT FLICK. GRRRRRRRR.... This is why I hate reading Netflix reviews. (Some of the anime reviews make steam explode from my ears!)

One interesting thing I did learn (about the completely out-of-date costumes that I've often wanted to know): "The costume changes mentioned by so many reviewers are easily explained because this film was made during WWll and many of the costumes were recycled from other period movies…. Yes that dress was in Gone with the Wind!"

Well, then. Sorry about the rant. Knowing the way the world works, I will probably now rent this flick and HATE it. Then I will be completely chagrined. Oh well. And still, even if I hated the film, I'd have to dispute the phrase "no British accents." *head desks*

And on a completely different note, I finally saw Casino Royale last night. Loved the action, pacing, etc. but really didn't buy Daniel Craig as a bloke who can just raise an eyebrow and every woman falls at his feet. But I did appreciate the ruggedness - very like the books. Just no sexual chemistry for me. (And it's all about ME and MY needs, right?)

We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.
lukon_idein: (Default)
God, I've been so fucking depressed lately! Pissing me off. Can't get anything done, and don't really care. I know some is PMS-related, but not all of it. Just went out to the northwest (got to be there for all the snow! Way cool.) And I was surprised to find that far from my interest being stimulated from being someplace new, I was more depressed. Guess I might be somewhat envious of my dad and step-mom having that old, comfy relationship that I will never have when I'm their age. I don't have to deal with that when I visit my mom - she usually is happy to console me that there are many benefits to being single. Her oft-spoken adage 'I want a man in my life but not in my house' always makes me smile. But at least she has kids. Not that I realistically want kids, cuz I hate the thought of being responsible for bringing someone else into the world just so that they, too, can be miserable, but there is still that stupid biological clock prodding me, telling me something's missing. Fucking hormones.

I can't even deal with writing, which I was enjoying there for a while. Everything I write seems emotionally shallow and full of cliches. Posted something last night and then took it down the next morning because I was paranoid that it sucked too much. Pathetic. And I find myself agonizing over whether I'll get any feedback or not, and if I don't then I'm completely disappointed and basically just too emotionally dependent on whether people bother to tell me if they liked a stupid 600-word story. It's so pathetic. It doesn't help that I finally broke down over the holiday and cracked open the second book of the Lymond Chronicles that has been tempting me since the beginning of the semester. FUCK, Dorothy Dunnett is an amazing writer!! Just reading one chapter of hers makes me ashamed to even consider picking up the proverbial pen ever again. Behold the brilliance:

"It was one of those occasions when Lymond asleep wrecked the peace of mind of more people than Lymond awake."

and

"It was difficult not to like him, and few tried."

Sigh. Such command of her universe!! Such clarity of thought and image! Such concise delivery! I am in paroxysms of delight and envy. It has finally become clear to me that my imagination is limited to the hackneyed plots I grew up with on television, and that my emotional perception is severely hampered by the fact that I'm a bitter, misanthropic old crone. Even in the GW fandom there are so many writers that just wipe the floor with me, it makes me sick. Especially when I am already feeling morose and incompetent.

On the upside - at least I took a few pictures in Washington that I liked. Would have been better with an SLR, but still, a couple were decent. And Newcastle was on sale at the grocery store. Woohoo. They recently jacked the price up to $9.fucking49! Jesus Christ on a stick! What's in this stuff? Titanium? Putting it on sale is the only way they are going to move any stock in this town. No one here is going to pay 9.50 for a sixpack! Hell, I can go to MH's during happy hour and get four pints for practically the same price. Huh, rant much? And about beer. The road to alcoholism is a subtle one, my dear.

So I guess I'll post my yanked story here, because I still like the last line, even if the rest of it is seriously flawed. And this is the only repository I have for all my fics. Except for one or two I posted on Pervy_Werewolf way back when. One was pretty nasty, as I recall. Maybe I should try that again. I keep coming up with silly comedy vignettes when I really want pain, blood, angst and misery - with an eventual happy ending, of course. Sigh. I'm really whining alot tonight. But then, that's kinda what this journal is for - no one really reads it but me, so I could just write shit down in a book, but somehow I can't bring myself to do that, but *this* I can do. Weird. Maybe it's the pitiable hope that someone will read it and sympathize. My friend Matt thinks it's completely pathetic that people do that, and I agree that it's totally egotistical (and probably somehow passive-aggressive), but I'm nothing if not shallow and self-obsessed, so I guess it's perfect for me. : P

Damn, life is a crappy place. And without any further ado (and with one brief rewrite)....

Title: Everything Nice
Author: Lukoni
Characters/Pairing: Quatre/Trowa, mention of Heero/Duo
Word Count: 668
Summary: Quatre’s sick of being the cute one.
Rating: R
Warnings: Fluff, smooching, mild suggestions of bdsm, garnish abuse.
Notes: As mentioned above, written for GW500 challenge #149: Sugar, but pulled for general suckiness.

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lukon_idein

April 2011

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